10 Rules of Decency Any Indian Girl Should Follow (Not):

Decency can be described as a basic characteristic for any individual to be marked as genuinely human. It is a necessary trait that distinguishes a thoughtful person from a ignorant one. 

In a world of over exaggerated intellectuality and definite oblivion, Decency too, has not escaped the vile fate of acquiring a twisted explanation. There is inequality, misinformation and random bias weaved into Decency as a whole. And if you are an Indian woman, you already have an unwanted subscription to this giant nuisance. What to do about it? Well, wrap your Dupatta tight (but not too tight because they get distracted) and swim through the carcass of our Society with me:

1. Speak as low as fish inside an Aquarium: Being soft spoken is the only way to gain a positive character certificate from your random neighbor. Have you not learnt anything from Poonam in ‘Vivah’?

2. Speaking up is for the rowdies, keeping it zipped through it all might just get you a peace prize at the dinner table. Why risk your reputation for the decent validity of reason?

3. There is a definite age for you to fall in love (with that MBA stud your parents found on some matrimonial site, of course) and get married. One toe out of that timeline, and you become an example of unsuccessful indecency to younger relatives. Telling your dad about that boyfriend? He’d rather be killed in a freak accident. 

4. The angle in which your legs rest while you sit determines how morally modest you are. Have your parents taught you anything if you are sitting with your legs apart? 

5. The cut of your blouse is inversely proportional to your modesty. Repeat after me, cleavages and menstrual cycles are hallucinations, they aren’t even there!

6. Having a career does not mean you get equal say in the household. Your father, brothers, husband-s (oops, don’t even go there), or the man across the street are the bosses.

7. Getting a life sentence for murder is better than getting a Divorce, for, come on, it is a woman that keeps a marriage going, isn’t it? 

8. Be ambitious until you are old enough to be married off. After that, the only ambition you should have, is making perfectly round flatbreads. 

9. Wrap up your dream of joining an offbeat profession in that “shagun ka marble paper” because no sane mother-in-law would want a daughter-in-law that is anything other than a generic professional (if you are lucky enough). 

10.  Shut up about your feelings already. Women do not reflect true emotions without a veil. If not, you’re either needy and too vulnerable to be proper or just flaky. Are you even real if you do not make them wait like the next season of a damned web series?

If you have taken any of it seriously, I am sorry. Change is inevitable and it is us that can turn it around like a game of chess (only chess though: I don’t think a queen moves without boundaries in other games). Decency is not a tag to be put on people, especially around a woman’s neck as a leash of modesty. It is a basic trait that every human should practice regardless of who they are.